Review: Liliana by Tutti Rouge

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Sweets

Remember how back in January we found the Tutti Rouge campaign videos, and I was all “OMG this is right. up. my. alley.”?

Some of Tutti Rouge's Spring/Summer styles, including a pretty purple version of "Liliana" (right).

Some of Tutti Rouge’s Spring/Summer styles, including a pretty purple version of “Liliana” (left). ”Betty” (right) will be available at Bravissimo in June.

I WAS RIGHT.

There has been a lot of excitement surrounding the launch. Offering bras in sizes 28-38 DD-HH (with Liliana available up to a J), the new brand has turned heads with their charming, flirty videos, bright and colorful styles, attention to detail, impressive size range, and attractive price point. Bras are designed to suit natural and enhanced figures equally well, and the designs, colors, and unusual accessories speak to a sophisticated understanding of the current market, as well as a strong appeal to a youthful customer base. The brand has a warm and cheerful presence on multiple social media platforms, and a snazzy official website is in the works. I was thrilled when Tutti Rouge reached out to me to offer me the lovely “Liliana” set to review for Sweet Nothings. [Note: Tutti Rouge provided this set for review. All opinions are my own.]

Pro tip: when a brand new company goes out of their way to send you a treat, consider giving them the correct zip code. Oh I wanted to die when I realized what I’d done.

My beautiful package finally made it to me last week, and I raced home to examine it closely.

Well-played, Tutti Rouge.

The presentation was just another indication of Tutti Rouge’s strong sense of their brand and aesthetic. I felt like I was opening the most fun, girly Christmas present ever; once I unwrapped the pink mailer, I found a black box with the TR logo, pink tissue paper, a carefully folded lingerie set, a branded lipgloss and candy stick, and a “Top Secret” letter addressed to Sweet Nothings. I won’t lie, it made me feel special.

Adorable.

A lot of the bloggers I talk with regularly have been just as excited about Tutti Rouge as I am, and, interestingly, lots of us were a little hesitant about the aggressively pink color for Liliana. I don’t tend to wear a lot of pink, both for personal and professional reasons, and I even tend to bypass pink lingerie, just because it can be a default color after beige/black/white. Further, I’m kind of loud and obnoxious about my preference for cut-and-sew non-padded bras. It’s all a matter of body type and preference; many full-bust women feel most supported in padded bras; I always feel insecure and unsupported in them.

Stealth polka dots. Polka dots are my weakness.

This is why every time I decide I’m set in my ways I’m thrown for a loop. Liliana is gorgeous. Gorgeous. The pink has been described by others as “bubblegum” or “strawberry” (hence yesterday’s Strawberry Tarts), and I see it as a bright, bold pink, not quite neon, not quite coral, but hugely flattering to a range of skin tones. The construction takes the best of padded and non-padded bras and brings them harmoniously together. The lower section of the cups is very thinly padded, with a vertical center seam for lift, and the top part of the cup is sheer stretch lace (certain sizes, including mine, feature an additional lining under the lace, which stabilizes the top of the cup but doesn’t interfere with the sheer look). Trimmed with ivory ribbons, bows at the center gore and straps, and pretty heart-shaped strap adjusters, the bra features classic construction with sweet, cheeky twists.

The coordinating short and a detail shot of the gorgeous, gorgeous lace. So pretty, right?

Tutti Rouge’s attention to detail is really impressive. I love the cut of the shorts: the legline is cut quite low in the front, providing a really nice level of coverage, but the rise in the back is ever-so-slightly cheeky. The stretch lace is hugely comfortable, and the ribbon trim sasses it up without digging in. I requested the same size as I wear in Panache (one size up from Eveden and Bravissimo) and the fit was spot on. They are lovely and perfect and I want to wear them forever.

This isn’t a great representation of the color, but look at the adjusters! Also, one side of the hooks says “Tutti” and the other side says “Rouge”. Freaking adorable.

The materials are all soft to the touch, the construction is immaculate, and the design carefully considered. Let’s talk about fit!

I requested my current “standard” size (same as I wear in Panache and Bravissimo) for the bra. While my poor box was lost in transit, I read other reviewers’ reports that some women were finding the cups a little small. I tried my set on with a little trepidation.

The goods news:

The band is nice and firm, and I find it true-to-size compared to Panache, possibly slightly smaller. Some women find they need to size down in the band with Eveden or Bravissimo bras; I’d encourage you NOT to size down in the band for Tutti Rouge, as the bands are not overly stretchy. The bottom edge of elastic is quite tight; indeed my only quibble with the band is I wish the stretch were more even throughout. The bra closes with three rows of three columns of hooks and eyes, and the straps are fully adjustable. Very often “plunge” bras in G+ sizes are glorified balconettes, but I consider Liliana to be a true plunge bra. The gore is a bit taller than my Starburst plunge bra from Bravissimo, but it is slightly lower than Freya’s plunge balcony styles.

The bad news: the cups are, indeed, too small.

The cups are really beautifully shaped. They don’t offer as much projection as some women find in Cleo or Ewa Michalak, and in fact I’d say it’s the most low-profile my silhouette has looked in a long time, but I kind of like it! It’s a nice change of pace. The wire placement really suits my shape: not too wide, and even though the cups are shallower than Panache, I don’t feel smushed the way I would in a minimizer bra. I was worried that there would be a really noticeable bump where the padded section of the cup met the sheer lace section, but I actually found the profile to look quite smooth, so yay!

Unfortunately, there isn’t quite enough room in the cups, so my breast tissue is being pushed up and out of the top of the bra. It looks like I’m leaning face-first against a wall, and my boobs are being squished up my chest. Not the cutest look. If you are between sizes, or you feel like you’re “at capacity” in your current bras, I’d strongly encourage you to try a cup size (or even two) higher than you might wear in other brands. While I know this is discouraging to true J-cups who may find themselves sized out of this style, remember that new brands often have the opportunity to adjust their patterns in response to customer feedback. Claudette and Curvy Kate have both adjusted patterns to improve fit in recent seasons, so don’t despair! The fact that Tutti Rouge launched with such an impressive size range reflects a real commitment to their full-bust customer base.

From the immaculate details and great design to the impressive shape and support, Tutti Rouge is an overall winner. I will absolutely be purchasing a Liliana bra of my own in a different size, and I am eagerly awaiting the launch of future styles. I’ve gone from being someone who is adamantly anti-pink and anti-padding to someone who wants more of both! Tutti Rouge’s final accomplishment? Bras retail for around $40– a really attractive price point in the full-bust market!

A+, highly recommended, would buy again. What do you think of Tutti Rouge?

“Liliana” is available at Bravissimo, Esty Lingerie, and Runway Republic, with more retailers to follow.

For more reviews, check out The Lingerie Lesbian, Holly’s review for The Lingerie Addict, Busts4Justice, and Fuller Figure Fuller Bust.

Tutti Rouge:
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White Chocolate and Strawberry Tarts

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Sweets

Spring is finally here! Oh, New York has just been disgracefully beautiful lately. I spent much of the last two weekends outside, basking in the bright sun, calm breeze, and clear skies. Even the woman in Grand Central who called me an idiot for walking past her at the coffee shop (????) can’t bring me down. I mentioned on Twitter that my supervisors gave me a Williams-Sonoma gift card for Staff Appreciation Week, and along with wedding cake supplies I ordered this adorable mini tart pan. It’s one of those totally useless kitchen items that are good for one thing and otherwise take up room, but I couldn’t say no. Besides, it’s not just good for one thing: I can make mini quiches too. So there.

I have a huge stash of white chocolate as part of Project Wedding Cake, and I just got some gorgeous, in-season strawberries, so let’s get Spring rolling!

White chocolate can be tricky to find, but you have to make sure that the only fat in the ingredient list is cocoa butter, not vegetable oil. Don't use anything labelled "White chocolate-flavored", and don't use white chocolate chips. Lindt, Baker's, and Valrhona (which I splurged on here) all make very good white chocolate.

Good white chocolate can be tricky to find, but you have to make sure that the only fat in the ingredient list is cocoa butter, not vegetable oil. Don’t use anything labelled “White chocolate-flavored”, and don’t use white chocolate chips. Lindt, Baker’s, Callebaut, and Valrhona (which I splurged on here) all make very good white chocolate.

White Chocolate Mousse and Strawberry Tarts
adapted, barely, from Bon Appetit

For the crust:

1 1/4 c. unbleached all-purpose flour
1/4 c. granulated sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 c. (1 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 large egg yolk
1 tbsp (or more) ice water

For the mousse:

6 oz. good-quality white chocolate, chopped
1 1/4 c. chilled whipping cream
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
3 large egg whites
1/8 tsp cream of tartar

For the topping:

1/3 c. seedless strawberry or raspberry jam
1 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
16 oz. strawberries, hulled, thinly sliced lengthwise

Combine flour, sugar, and salt in a food processor and pulse a few times to blend. Add the butter and pulse until the butter is broken up and evenly incorporated; the mixture will look like coarse, damp sand. Whisk the egg yolk and the ice water together in a small bowl, then add to the processor and pulse to combine, until the dough just begins to come together, adding more ice water if necessary. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface and roll out evenly.

If you’re making one large tart, roll dough out into one large circle, fold it over a rolling pin, and ease into an 8″ or 9″ tart pan, pressing evenly. Fold any overhang over into the sides of the pan to create a double layer around the sides. Prick the crust all over with a fork. Line the pan with aluminum foil and fill with pie weights. If you’re making tartlets, cut out circles slightly larger than the dimension of your pans and press them gently into the pans. Prick the crusts all over with a fork.

Place the prepared tart pan(s) in freezer for 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

For one large tart: remove prepared pan from the freezer and bake for about 25 minutes. Remove the foil and pie weights and bake for an additional 15-20 minutes, until crust is fully baked and golden brown.

For tartlets: remove prepared pans from freezer and bake for about 15 minutes, until fully baked and golden brown (no need for pie weights with the little guys).

Cool crusts completely.

Combine chopped white chocolate and 1/4 c. heavy whipping cream in the top of a double boiler over low heat. Stir until melted and smooth, and then allow to cool until lukewarm.

Beat 1 c. cream and the vanilla extract in the bowl of an electric mixer until peaks form. In a separate bowl and with clean beaters, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until thick and stiff peaks form. Fold the egg whites into the white chocolate in three additions, and then fold in the whipped cream. Spoon the mousse into the cooled tart shells and chill for two hours until set (I had a TON left over, which, oh NO, I have leftover white chocolate mousse, I’ll have to portion it into individual ramekins and chill it too, what a bummer).

Top the tarts with sliced strawberries. Heat the jam and lemon juice in a small saucepan and stir until melted and smooth. Brush the tops of the tarts with the jam. Keep chilled until serving.

They’re so tiny!

* * * * *

For my lingerie pairing, I’m just going to tease you a little bit more:

New brand Tutti Rouge has finally arrived, with gorgeous, strawberry-colored Liliana making her debut. Full review tomorrow!

Are we SERIOUSLY supposed to be on board with True & Co.’s MILF campaign?

Posted on May 3, 2013 by Sweets

I wasn’t going to write about this. I was going to wait for the campaign to blow up in their faces as a piece of extremely, EXTREMELY poor judgment hiding behind the shield of “there’s no such thing as bad publicity.” And then True & Co. wrote their own blog response, and then I replied, respectfully and courteously, on Facebook, from the Sweet Nothings page, and then six hours later they deleted my comment.

And then I got really, really pissed off.

For those of you who aren’t familiar, True & Co. is an online lingerie retailer that promises to offer shoppers a hassle-free, algorithm-based bra fitting experience. You tell them what size you’re wearing and what brand, you answer a series of fit questions, and then they supply several style and size suggestions based on your responses. You pick a few, they throw a few others in your box for you to try as well, and you get a great in-home fitting room experience. It sounds good, except it doesn’t work.

For starters, while they carry several full-bust brands, they don’t stock anything over an F-cup. So when I took the quiz, I told them I was wearing my regular band size + an F cup, and described all the fit issues I’d have if I were indeed wearing that size. True & Co’s suggestions? F-cups. Now look, I have no problem with a retailer’s not stocking my size. No store can be all things to all women, so if they’d told me “It seems like you’ll find a good fit in a size [__]. We aren’t able to stock that size currently, but please continue to check back with us as we expand!” I’d have been totally satisfied. Instead, rather than genuinely answer a fitting question, they tried to sell me bras they stocked, which would never have fit, which makes them no better at fitting than Victoria’s Secret.

With each successive blog post from True & Co., I became more and more uneasy. The fact of the matter is that bra fitting is hugely, hugely subjective. There is no way, NO WAY, an “algorithm” can POSSIBLY work for all women. We are all shaped and built so differently, and our lifestyles and comfort levels and wants and needs are all so different, the best an online retailer can do is provide clear, accurate information about how to find a good fit and what it looks like. True & Co doesn’t do that. For more, be sure to read The Lingerie Lesbian’s recent excellent post, in which she shares multiple women’s experiences with the “fit service.”

Sigh. I see what you did there.

SO THEN, in the lead-up to Mother’s Day, rather than improve the quality of their online fit advice (sample: “If your underwire pains you, try a bralette!” UM, NO*), they launch their MILF campaign, complete with pictures of young, hip mothers and their tiny, adorable children.

MILF, for those of you who still in blessed ignorance of the term, stands for Mom I’d Like to Fuck. I know. So cute, right? Just, pardon me, fucking precious. HI-larious, amirite bro? So True & Co takes this delightful gift to the contemporary American vernacular and says, “You know what would be DARLING? Is if we made a pun! For Mother’s Day! Yeah! Let’s take an obscene, sexist, objectifying term and make it cute! And let’s put pictures of bloggers and their tiny children in the campaign, because that’s not creepy at all! And let’s invite women to submit pictures of their own mothers for our MILF wall! A MILF wall? Awesome!”

Surely, SURELY, there was someone at True & Co. whose soul quietly whispered, “Um, maybe not the best idea we’ve ever had?”

Oedipal, pedophilic creepiness aside, this campaign sucks. It panders, it operates on the principal that sex sells, and it’s designed to startle (and I suspect work people like me into a sputtering rage, so mission accomplished?). Jezebel has notes. So does the Daily Mail. They quote the lovely Denocte from Kurvendiskussionen, who left this comment on Facebook: “Nothing funny about this MILF joke. It’s sexist and makes a connection between bras and sex – bras are not all about sex. Plus, what’s even worse, it provides a connection between bra fitting and sexual stuff – ick! Bra fitting is NOTHING sexual, it’s about finding proper bra fit for your body.”

True & Co promised a response, and Wednesday night they posted this to their blog:

MILF – the term brings to mind pervy frat boys but who says they should own an acronym? MILF (Moms I’d Love to Fit)is about the best people in the world taking 5 minutes out of their busy day to treat themselves to a proper bra fitting and get a new bra. Who hasn’t known a mom who puts everyone else first and who has forgotten about taking care of herself?

We were inspired after hearing our customers tell us that the first time they had thought of themselves in a long time was when they took True&Co.’s online fit quiz. They then treated themselves to a home try-on box of great lingerie that fit their new post-baby bodies.

We meant the pun and we meant it in good fun. We think there’s nothing objectifying about a woman owning her sexuality. We’d be proud to be considered a MILF (Mom I’d Love to Fit).

True&Co. was created to change the bra industry. The bra and the terrible bra fitting room experience has remained the same since the modern bra was invented in 1930s. And let’s not even talk about panties. We celebrate empowerment – embrace your individual body type and love what’s underneath, whether you’re a mom, a daughter, a sister, anyone.

Apart from the fact that there are some major factual errors (bras and fitting room experiences have changed HUGELY since the 1930s, don’t even get me started, do your research, etc.), the whole post . . . doesn’t make sense? Sometimes bra fitting isn’t about owning your sexuality; it’s about, you know, finding a bra that fits. I stewed for a while, and then posted something along the lines of this (it never occurred to me to get a screengrab, so this is how I remember it):

I’m sorry, I still don’t really understand why using this term is a good idea. It’s a sexist and objectifying term that many women feel strongly negative about, no matter how often you say “no, we’re reclaiming it!” Lots of women feel objectified, judged, and vulnerable when they hear this word used, so why on earth would you introduce it into a bra fitting conversation, where lots of women already feel vulnerable? Furthermore, why on earth would you put it in an ad campaign featuring children, ick? Bras aren’t about sex, and bra fittings certainly aren’t about sex, and using this term implies that there is a sexually objectifying relationship between not only a mother and child, but also a woman and her fitter. It’s really inappropriate, and it’s wrong, and I and many others don’t see it as “good fun.”

That’s right, y’all. Those right there are the words that were too much for True & Co. It seems, ironically, they just couldn’t handle the truth (& co.). And thus they deleted that mighty, crushing Facebook comment from a tiny lingerie blogger, because THAT always shuts down a discussion, yes indeedy.

I know that a lot of good can be done by “reclaiming” negatively charged words. Some people find it liberating and empowering. Hell, pole dancing has negative, objectifying, degrading connotations for many people, and for me it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. But I pole dance in a private sphere, not in a club in front of strangers, and therefore it’s a safe experience for me. Bra fitting and making sexy, silly puns also happen in a private sphere. When silly puns enter the public sphere and crash and burn so spectacularly, it would behoove their authors to consider that the problem isn’t the audience: it’s them. Saying “oh, but you just don’t get it!” or “you just need to own your sexuality!” doesn’t cut it.

Your audience is offended and unimpressed, True & Co. If you’re really trying to help women and make bra fitting an easier, stress-free experience, then issue an apology and pull the ads. Grace, character, and competence win my loyalty much faster than base pandering.

*Hoookay, if your underwire pains you I have a few suggestions: always start by checking your band size. It should fasten firmly on the loosest set of hooks, and it should lie smoothly across your back parallel with your underbust. It shouldn’t be so loose that it rides up your back throughout the day. Once you’ve got your band size fixed, you might want to try a larger cup size to help the wires open up a little. A too-small cup can mean the wires are both too narrow and too short, so there won’t be room for all of your breast to sit in the cup. The wires on the sides of the bra should encircle the breast tissue and lie directly against your ribs, not on top of any breast tissue. If the wires are stabbing you in the armpit, you may need to try a brand or a style that’s cut a little lower. If the center gore is digging into your sternum, try a bra with a lower center front, or even experiment with bending the wires gently until they fit your shape better. Boom. Let’s see an algorithm address all those possibilities.

Sweet Nothing Du Jour: 5/2/2013

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Sweets

I JUST now realized that today is Sweet Nothings’ birthday! And now we are 1.

Hedwig! Aw, I used to have a cat who reminded me of Hedwig. Her name was Cookie Monster, and she had ‘tude.

Thank you so much for reading. I’ve loved meeting you, discussing Important Underwear Things with you, and learning with you. I truly never thought I’d write something and put it on the internet, much less keep up with it for a year, much less enjoy the hell out of it more and more each day. To everyone who reads, whether you comment or just stop by to read occasionally, you’ve made this something I’m enormously proud of. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I had no idea what was going to happen when I started writing about bras a year ago, and I have no idea what will happen this year, but I’m excited to see what’s coming our way. One thing’s for sure: there will be cake.

All my love and thanks,

Sweets

And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of a baking project for next week’s posts. A baking project to pair with a certain brand-new very Sweet Something . . .

The Perils of Ice Cream Socials

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Sweets

[Possible Trigger Warning-- I'll be discussing relationships with food, very cursorily and probably superficially.]

It was Staff Appreciation Week at my office last week, and I can’t lie: I generally feel super-appreciated each year. Last year they hosted a cupcake-decorating class (still the best frosting job I’ve ever managed); this year they kicked things off with an in-office visit from Coldstone Creamery. Sugar and Circuses, that’s the Firm’s motto.

Did I deliberately eat a small but healthy lunch, the better to save room for afternoon deliciousness? Did I zoom downstairs to the conference room as soon as I got an email with “ice cream” in the subject line? Did I ask for a cup with pretty much everything in it, even though the flavors did not, how should we say, “go together”? Did I savor every over-the-top, sweet, delicious, ridiculous bite? DUH.

DID PRACTICALLY EVERY SINGLE OTHER STAFF MEMBER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE FREE ICE CREAM TO BITCH ABOUT CALORIES, SUGAR, FAT, AND DAIRY? Of course they effing did.

Ohhh, I got mad. In two minutes I decided that all of my co-workers were Food Police Minions of Awful. Did they not realize that situations like this, of fun treats laden with guilt and judgment, led to terrible, horrible, no-good very bad messed up feelings about food and our bodies? I was so angry, standing there, eating my ice cream, not saying anything in response to the “I’m trying to be good” and “Sugar is really just poison” and “I’m so fat, I’ll have to go the gym for longer” and “If only they’d had sorbet” flying around me. I was all set to yell and scream about people who were so self-centered they decided to show up to something very clearly called an Ice Cream Social in order to sing their own praises while simultaneously making themselves and everyone else around them feel bad about their life choices. Man, I was gonna show it to them. I was gonna BLOG THEM A NEW ONE.

And then, while I was merrily criticizing the Most Annoying Co-Worker (the most martyred martyr of them all, she who told us how bad the ice cream we were enjoying was and how she was trying to be “a good girl” and who plaintively whined “is there sorbet?”), I realized A) I was being an insensitive asshole, and B) judgment goes both ways. I wanted to scream “Will y’all just shut up and eat the freaking ice cream and chill out already?” It’s just not that simple.

Look, I understand food preferences and aversions very, very well. I am deeply sympathetic to people who have food allergies. If I was allergic to chocolate or dairy I would be the saddest, mopiest person ever, yet somehow there are people who carry on bravely, without Friend Ice Cream by their side. I also absolutely salute the Most Annoying Co-Worker for making her own choices and for wanting to take care of her body. I totally think, despite my username and raison d’être, that I could do with a little less sugar in my diet. I make a point of trying to include leafy vegetables, fruit, and protein in my meals. Healthy choices get a huge seal of approval from me. I CANNOT sign off, however, on her 1) phrasing food choices in terms of “I’m good” or “I’m bad” and 2) attending an event called an “Ice Cream Social,” only to shame anyone (read: everyone) else who indulged. I may not have liked it, but I needed to step back and acknowledge whence cometh the Crazy.

It’s not really news that our relationship with food is messed up. I get that we’re bombarded with confounding, conflicting messages every day about industrial farming, healthy fat, cholesterol, wheat bellies, poisonous sugar, 10 quick tips to a flatter belly, juice cleanses, eating everything in moderation, cutting out processed foods, dark chocolate’s being good for us, eating seasonally, paleo/gluten-free/dairy-free diets, ice cream will help you over that breakup, wine is good, wine is bad, our blood type can determine our diet! etc., etc. etc. Is it really any wonder if we feel overwhelmed, or discouraged, or frustrated, and that sometimes we don’t react well to, you know, food? Of course it isn’t. It can be hard to sort out the sound advice from the silly advice, and ultimately, much like bras and bra fitting, the best solution is going to vary wildly from individual to individual. So when faced with a big empty cup and two strapping gentlemen waiting to fill it with ice cream and cookies, our first reactions are often panic, instead of delight.

Sure, Coldstone Creamery’s offerings aren’t healthy. We all know this. But do we eat ginormous helpings of ice cream crammed full of cookies and candy every day of the week? We do not. I think the last time I had Coldstone was . . . last year, during Staff Appreciation Week. So yeah, I knew exactly what I was eating. And I just ate it. It was delicious, it was a once-in-a-blue-moon treat, and I refuse to feel badly about it. You guys, don’t apologize for showing up to an event you were invited to. Don’t feel the need to tell us how many extra crunches you’re going to do tonight. It’s really okay. You weren’t invited here as some sort of sting operation to catch you in the Act of Eating Sugar. You were invited here as a thank you. It’s just a treat You can eat it. You can abstain. It’s your choice, it’s really not a big deal, and if someone makes it a big deal, that’s literally their problem, not yours.

I’m not sure when and why other people’s food choices became acceptable social conversation. It’s like how it’s acceptable to discuss, in terms of virtue, the size of pregnant women’s bellies (ugh, come on, it’s NEVER acceptable). Just as I know that other people have dangerous food allergies, or choose for a variety of reasons to abstain from consuming animal products, so too do I know that other people choose to abstain from certain foods for a variety of health or other personal reasons. While my gut reaction last week was to scream “just eat the freaking ice cream!”, this week I’m feeling a little calmer and, I hope, a little more understanding. So I’ll say this:

Eat what you want. If someone questions you, either for indulging or for abstaining, just say “it’s delicious!” OR “eh, I don’t really want any.” If someone says “ooooh, you’re so good,” “tsk, tsk, you’ll have to work hard to burn that off,” “aw, come on, you don’t need to lose weight,” “oh stop it, just eat it!”, “don’t you WANT some,” etc., just demur. Say “okay” if they praise you and “no thank you” if they press you. If they continue to comment, just say “if you don’t mind, I’d rather change the subject.” Then change the subject. Having conflicting feelings about certain foods is natural in this day and age, but someone who continues to comment on and analyze your choices is straight up rude and insensitive. You do you.

But seriously, if you tell me how many calories there are in anything I’m eating, our friendship is dead.

Review: Morning Meadow by Freya

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Sweets

I realized the other day that I don’t own a single beige or light-colored bra that fits. Not a one. I don’t wear white or a lot of pale colors, so I don’t need a ton of bras that are close to my skin tone. Pastel bras are out for similar reasons (I’m already plenty pale, so I don’t love the way lighter colors look on me), plus all of my darker clothes can make pale lingerie look dingy, gray, and tired very quickly. I was patting myself on the back about my practical approach to my pretties, and then, well, Spring happened.

I feel like Meryl Streep is going to come after me,

but really, how great are all the pastel, flower-hued lingerie collections right now?

Like this one!

Claudette "Dessous" in Pink Lemonage. Sizes 28-38 A-G (UK). Image via Faire Frou Frou

Claudette “Dessous” in Pink lemonade. Sizes 28-38 A-G (UK). Image via Faire Frou Frou

Or this one!

“Dotty For You” silk chiffon teddy by Mimi Holliday, S-L.

Or this one!

“Maddie Floral” by Cleo (exclusive to Bravissimo). Sizes 28 E-H, 30 DD-H, 32-38 D-H (UK). Image via Bravissimo.

Or this one!

“Valentina” by Elomi. Sizes 34 GG-HH, 36-42 D-HH, 44 D-G, 46 D-DD. Image via Nordstrom

Answer: so great. So, so pretty. And that’s how I impulse-purchased (sigh, again. Some of my favorite bras were . . . unexpected purchases) the “Morning Meadow” set by Freya.

“Morning Meadow” in Lime by Freya. Sizes 28-30 D-H (UK), 32-38 B-H (UK). Pictured with matching short, sizes XS-XL.

I’ve mentioned it before, but when a wore a size that was smaller than a UK G-cup, Freya just WORKED for me. My first favorite bras were by Freya, my best fit was from Freya, and the brand really introduced me to the world of fun colors and prints for lingerie. However, as my cup size increased, I’ve had a correspondingly difficult time getting a good fit. I mentioned some of my fit issues in my review of the Freya Active Sports Top, and Fredericka Zappe really helped me understand my personal fit challenges during the Eveden Fit Event at CurveNY. As my cup size increased, my body’s shape began to disagree with Freya’s, and I found myself wanting closer-spaced wires and a cup with more depth and projection.

I decided to gamble on “Morning Meadow” because the shape was slightly different from the shapes I’d tried previously. “Gem,” which I’d tried on at home with no success, is a balcony (balconette) bra, whereas “Morning Meadow” is described as a plunge balcony, which means the center gore doesn’t rise as high as it does on a true balcony. Since my major issue with “Gem” was a too-high center gore that wouldn’t tack, I decided to see if I’d have more luck with this shape. The color, the sheer white top cup, and the embroidery were a new look for me, so I was interested to give them a try.

I tend to steer clear of heavy embroidery, so I was surprised by how much I liked the look of the set. The details really shine in person: lime green and white pinstripes, tiny blue dots of flowers, and a sheer white upper cup with contrasting striped floral embroidery. The brief is trimmed with hints of matching blue lace, and the fabric feels silky and soft (I learned at Curve that the way fabric feels to the touch is called “the handle”. Fun facts!).

I’ve been finding a good fit in a pretty consistent size across the board in all of the UK brands I wear (Bravissimo, Panache, and Eveden) lately, so I opted for the same size here. I find Freya knickers to run slightly bigger than some other brands, so I ordered a size smaller than what I wear in Panache or Curvy Kate. My size closes with three columns of two rows of hooks-and-eyes (I really prefer the look and feel of three rows of hooks), and the straps are fully adjustable. The band fits true-to-size, nice and firm on the loosest hook, and the stretch feels uniform, without digging in or loosening dramatically throughout the day.

“Morning Meadow” plunge balcony bra. Image via Figleaves.

Freya’s unlined balconettes are somewhat notorious for giving a shape that is often described as “retro” or “pointed”, depending on your breast shape. It’s definitely not as rounded as Cleo’s unlined balconettes, but I don’t mind it. It feels a little more natural, and I find that after a few wears and washes the shape seems to soften and conform to my boobs, rounding out the “pointiness” a bit. The bottom part of the cup features a vertical seam to provide lift, with a curving, across-the-breast seam running directly to the strap for added support.

So, how did it fit? Well . . . I’m sorry to say that, as with the other Freya bras I’ve tried lately, it’s just not perfect. It’s not terrible! The cup volume overall is right, the band feels great (although I do want the depth an additional hook and eye would provide), and all of my breast tissue is inside the wires with no digging or overspill. Beyond that though, there are a few fit issues:

The straps feel quite wide and high to me. Freddy explained to us at Curve that lots of American women have a body type that features a “short upper torso.” It’s not necessarily related to short-waistedness (although I have that, too, woo!), but it means that the bust is quite high on the chest, and therefore balconette straps can sometimes pull too high and wide, cutting into the armpits.
The wires are a little too wide. As with the Freya Active Performance Sports Top, I seem to have a bit of extra space in the bottom sides of the cup, extending further under my arms than is totally necessary. The bottom part of the cup is also a little shallow, which pushes my breast tissue up and away from the wires, sliding the bra down my ribcage a bit.
The cup is too shallow near the center gore. This is maybe the number one difference between my fit with Cleo and my fit with Freya. My Cleo balconette bras curve sharply out from the center gore, which is great for close-set breasts with a lot of roundness and projection. With Freya, the cups actually push against my breast tissue, fighting my natural shape and preventing the center gore from tacking firmly. In some cases that would be an indication that the cup is too small, but considering the extra room I have in other parts of the cup, sizing up probably wouldn’t solve the problem.

I know I’ve made it sound like this bra was a straight-up bad fit for me. While it’s not a perfect fit, it IS close, and furthermore it’s comfortable and freaking ADORABLE. If we’re looking at the three kinds of fit, I’ve achieved Aesthetic Fit and Comfort Fit, so I’m allowing myself to compromise a little on Technical Fit, but just a little. The center gore NEARLY tacks (in fact, it does tack but just not quite as firmly as I’d like), the wires are NEARLY the right shape, and while the straps definitely feel wider than I’m used to, there’s no discomfort. If I was fitting someone else with a shape similar to mine I’d definitely point out these fit issues, but if she loved it and felt good in it there’s nothing that would keep me from recommending it to her (if the band rode up or she had quadraboob happening or a center gore that didn’t tack by an inch or something, then we’d talk). Green is really having a moment in the lingerie world right now, and the pretty bright lime feels fresh, pretty, and fun.

Dear Freya: please offer a different shape or a slightly adjusted pattern for your G+ customers, and I will be a happy camper.

Morning Meadow plunge balcony bra is available in sizes 38-30 D-H, 32-38 B-H (UK sizes). Matching brief, short, and thong available in sizes XS-XL. Morning Meadow is available at Figleaves, Nordstrom, and Bare Necessities, among others.

Review: Venus in Play Babydoll by Between the Sheets Lingerie

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Sweets

I was recently dragged (kicking and screaming) to Twitter by some of the wonderful bloggers and designers I met at CurveNY and Lingerie Fashion Week (jk, all it took was brunch, and I was putty in their hands). I’m glad I joined, because without Twitter and Instagram I wouldn’t have met Layla L’obatti, founder and designer of Between the Sheets Lingerie and Layla L’obatti, fellow cat-lover, and intrepid baker.

Venus in Play babydoll in Ambrosia (other colors still available) by Between the Sheets Lingerie

I mentioned in one of my recap posts that the prominence of loungewear at the trade shows surprised me. After talking with other bloggers, I think my surprise stemmed from the fact that I had my full-bust blinders on. My focus in the lingerie world has always been bras-first, everything-else-second, so my loungewear tended towards the basic: nighties, tank tops, t-shirts, boxer shorts. It took some of the major full-bust brands like Parfait, Cleo, and Curvy Kate introducing babydolls and chemises for me to realize that hell yes, I would INDEED like some pretty loungewear. Comfy doesn’t have to mean ratty, and sometimes I want to wear something a little special, a little more stylish.

Layla invited me over Twitter to stop by her showroom to preview her upcoming collections, and I arrived, somewhat breathless, as the last stop on the last day of Curve. I walked into a room full of soft, drapey jersey, flowing silk, and delicate lace and velvet trim. Layla herself wore her own lush blue Arabesque robe as a wrap dress, greeted me with a hug, and allowed me to sit in on a presentation of her upcoming collection.

Venus in Play loungewear by Between the Sheets Lingerie

She offers two distinct lines: Between the Sheets (the soft jersey loungewear) and Layla L’obatti (Specimens of SeductionTM), her namesake designer line of elegant silk, satin, and velvet lingerie and loungewear. Even after five full days of ogling lingerie and loungewear, both collections stood out for the cuts, colors, fabrics, and overall stylishness. The pieces are classics: bralettes, shorts, tap pants, robes, and chemises, but they’re rendered with sophistication: the babydoll (available in different fabrics in both lines) is cut low at the back and sides, with a very full, flowing body– revealing and concealing all at once. The Arabesque robe, which Layla modeled beautifully, has clean, classic wrap-dress lines and a magnificent color, but it’s rendered in fine, luxurious silk with lace shoulder cutouts. Both collections embrace the playfulness and teasing quality of my favorite lingerie, coming at it from different directions. Between the Sheets feels like a cozy hug; Layla’s namesake collection like a passionate embrace.

Here are two of my favorite looks from Layla’s designer collection.

Layla L'obatti "Arabesque Desert Rose." Garnet matte silk charmeuse, lace, velvet bralette & ouvert tap pant. Garnet stretch velvet garter & vintage nylons.

Layla L’obatti “Arabesque Desert Jewel.” Garnet matte silk charmeuse, lace, velvet bralette & ouvert tap pant. Garnet stretch velvet garter & vintage nylons (model: Arden Leigh. Photo: Josh Verleun)

“Arabesque” silk lace wrap robe in navy. Layla L’obatti for Between the Sheets. I MEAN OH MY GOODNESS, IT’S DIVINE.

Also, you need to go look at the Sheer Romance robe, right now, and then we need to let out a big collective sigh of longing.

Between the Sheets offers more casual, but no less stylish, options. Multiple coordinating pieces are available in each collection, which I always appreciate, and the colors are soft and gentle. I really admire Layla’s sense of proportion in her pieces– the babydoll is cut on the bias and flows dramatically, and it has a plunging back and neckline, yet it’s also slightly shorter than expected, which gives it a flirty punch. The sleep tee is similarly loosely structured, yet it still feels delicate and feminine. Classic pale hues like pink, ivory, heather gray, and pale blue meet unexpectedly with a rich, deep navy and even a smoky black leopard print. She offers classic lingerie and pyjama pieces like bralettes, knickers, lounge pants and camisoles, and more modern, playful options like the fabulous Airplay collection:

“Airplay” Babydoll in Orchid by Between the Sheets Lingerie

“Airplay” Ouvert Hi-Waist Knicker in Orchid by Between the Sheets Lingerie

The cheeky cutout at the back of the knicker is echoed just under the bust on the front of the babydoll. Fabulous color, impeccable cut, unexpected and flirty choice: all around wonderful.

As I was leaving, Layla was kind enough to give me a Venus-in-Play babydoll of my own! Available in sizes XS-L, I requested a Large in the beautiful Ambrosia color, crossing my fingers that it would fit my bust.

Confession: my first thoughts while I was viewing the whole collection was “welp, it’s awesome, but it’s not for me.” Bralettes and camisoles don’t have the support I, as a full-bust woman, usually find comfortable, and I tend to assume that I’m automatically excluded from high-end or designer fashion labels. I was convinced that it wouldn’t fit. Furthermore, I’ve been told (and admittedly usually agreed) my whole life that I need structure, structure, structure if I want garments to flatter me, and BTS’ easy, bohemian drapiness was, I’d decided, for more worthy wearers.

Seriously y’all, if I had a nickel for every time I failed to walk my own talk (or, um, you follow me), I’d be . . . well, I’d have to get a bigger apartment, just to hold all of the lingerie I’d buy. I long ago got into the mindset that anything cut super-low or revealing wouldn’t work on a full bust. I got home later that night and tried on my new babydoll with some trepidation. I looked in the mirror, prepared to be . . . I dunno, horrified? Repulsed? I mean, HOW DARE I wear something that didn’t contain (and control) my “too-big” body. At least, that’s what a younger Sweets would have thought.

Instead I kind of settled in and really looked. I mean, yes, there’s some significant side-boob on view. Yes, it’s low-cut. Yes, you can see my untoned back. The babydoll flows out around my waist instead of shaping it, and it’s possibly the only lighter-colored garment I own. I’m . . . kind of okay with it? In fact, I think I might even . . . LIKE the way it looks, which is not the way it looks on the model. That’s okay– I am allowed to look different from the model without getting into trouble. This is my BODY, not an embarrassment or some terrible, burdensome thing. I can just … let it be.

The Venus in Play babydoll makes me feel young, and flirty, and relaxed, easy and sensual. I love wearing it around my apartment when I get home from work, rocking a colorful bra underneath, and I love wearing it to bed, feeling my hair and the sheets brushing bare skin. This babydoll is now my number 1 favorite piece of loungewear– I wear it constantly. Not only is it soft, pretty, and unbelievably comfortable, but it’s made me think differently about what I’m “allowed” to wear. Thank you, Layla, and congratulations on your beautiful upcoming collections!

Amazing bathroom photography, once again brought to you by my phone. Venus in Play babydoll in Ambrosia, c/o Between the Sheets Lingerie. Jasmine bra by Panache Superbra.

See Lindsay’s stylish take on the babydoll (and other Between the Sheets pieces) over at That Je Ne Sais Quoi: Slow Down and Smell the Roses and So Long, Mercury in Retrograde.

* * * * *

The new “Come Out and Play” Collection is now available. Camisole, Bralette, Thong, Babydoll, Bikini, Boyshort, $18-85, in Midnight, Dawn, Dusk, Shade, Champagne, Bamboo. Cardigan, Yoga Pants, and Lounge Pants from the coordinating “Well-Played” Collection, $105-125. All pieces XS-L.

Come Out and Play Collection in Bamboo

Between the Sheets Lingerie Official Site
Layla L’obatti (Specimens of Seduction) Official Site
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Sweet Nothing Du Jour: 4/11/13

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Sweets

I’m sorry y’all. This is a super boring one. It’s so boring. I know, I know, my goal in life is to bring you the pretty things, but hello, my name is Sweets, I am wearing boring knickers today, and they feel INCREDIBLE:

Maxi brief by Sloggi, multipack. Super hot, no?

Maxi brief by Sloggi, multipack. Available in sizes 10-26 (UK). Super hot, no?

Okay, look, hear me out.

I have this awesome dress, see?

Drape Jersey Dress. Available in sizes 08-18 (UK) Curvy/Really Curvy and Really Curvy/Super Curvy (some sizes sold out). £55.00 (about $88.09 USD)

Drape Jersey Dress by Pepperberry. Available in sizes 08-18 (UK) Curvy/Really Curvy and Really Curvy/Super Curvy (some sizes sold out). £55.00 (about $88.09 USD)

It fits my boobs, falls to my knees, hugs my waist, repels cat fur, and makes me feel super glamorous. I wear a scarf with it at the office and whip my cleavage out afterwards. It rules. The other thing it does is caress my tush without also caressing my belly. I love this, because it makes me look like I actually HAVE a tush, but all of a sudden my knickers are really in the spotlight. I’ve tried all the briefs I own. I’ve tried the really uncomfortable shapewear shorts that I hate wearing. I’ve tried thongs, but my feelings on thongs remain unchanged (newbies: thongs are the worst and I hate them). Tights help somewhat, but tights are slinky, and the dress is slinky, and tights make the dress’s lining ride up around my waist by the time I get to work. I don’t get THAT bent out of shape about visible panty lines, because I have other things I’d rather worry about, but in this case I really did want to find a comfortable solution.

Enter the giant cotton knickers above. The rise is high enough to sit right at my belly button and lie smoothly over my hips, the leg line is low enough that panty lines aren’t an issue, they’re black so they go with all my bras, and they’re cotton, so the dress’s lining stays put. Frankly, they’re comfy as hell. They’re SO comfy. I’m not switching to giant knickers exclusively, but I’m really, really glad I’ve added these to my rotation of bikini briefs and shorties. For the gym, for slinky dresses, and for certain times of the month, these are going to become my go-to.

Available in a 3-pack from Figleaves, which is currently running a 20% off full-price items Spring promotion with the code ‘TWENTY ’. There are a TON of gorgeous Spring lingerie and swim styles hitting the site. There are also boring giant cotton knickers. Have at it.

What Do I Call These Things?

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Sweets

I tend to say “boobs” a lot. I mean, not ALL THE TIME, jeez. I’m not parading around the office blathering on about boobs and underwires and bra manufacturers, or anything. But when the topic does come up, my word of choice, especially with my peers, is boobs. “Breasts” can feel clinical or medical, even though it’s technically appropriate. I know we’re all supposed to be mature about our anatomy, and say “penis” and “vagina” and “breast” and “testicle” without getting all coy and giggly (remember when we all said va-jay-jay, and that led to idiotic words like “vajazzling”? Kill me now). I do say “breast” a lot, especially when it comes to talking about some of the more technical aspects of fit, but I kind of like “boobs”.

“Boobs” is a fairly innocuous word, like a goofy friend, and I usually hear it in cheerful, friendly situations. “Tits” and “cans” are really off-putting to me, as I associate them with situations where I’ve been ogled, commented on inappropriately, or catcalled, but I remember when I first discovered Bravissimo, and along with adorable, smiley models, the website’s copy talked cheerfully and kindly about our “boobs”. Beautiful bras for big-boobed girls! It was sweet, enthusiastic, and didn’t have any sort of weird, sexualizing undercurrent that I’d associated with “big-boobed” lingerie in the past. It also came with really awesome English accents.

I realized this month when I started fitting women that I used “boobs” not only on the blog, but also in conversation.

Everyone approaches bra fittings differently. For some women it’s fun and interesting, but for others there’s a lot of defensiveness, shame, self-consciousness, and uncertainty that goes along with asking someone to help you with your bras. I mean, we’re adults, right? How can we be so dumb as not to know how to wear a basic item of clothing? Alternately, we may feel angry or defeated: We’re [x] years old, goddammit, and bras are the worst! They’re uncomfortable, and they’re not made for our shapes! Why should we expect this shopping trip/fitting experience to be any better? Also, Victoria’s Secret said we were [x] size, so if you don’t make that size work, we’re leaving!

With all of these emotions coming into play, I think it’s particularly important that I use language deliberately and sensitively. We’re dealing with really personal shit, here, and I want to do my best to make sure that any volunteer or customer who’s getting fitted feels comfortable and at ease. Therefore, I ask you: how do you feel about the word “boobs”?

For example, I never really liked calling breasts “The Girls”. I used the phrase jokingly for a while, largely because it’s what Stacy and Clinton said on “What Not to Wear”, and I adore Stacy and Clinton, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more it makes me feel uncomfortable. I remember feeling utterly divorced from my breasts when they first started growing. I know it’s not everyone’s experience, but I felt so powerless when my body started changing. My ideal of beauty was the long, sylph-like ballerina’s beauty, and these . . . THINGS just showed up and kept growing and people felt the need to comment on them and look at them and evaluate them and I hadn’t wanted them in the first place and UGH. Saying “The Girls”, to me, feels like continuing to separate myself from my breasts. There’s my body, and then there are “the girls,” with a mind of their own, ruining my life and my shopping. It took me a very long time to accept that my breasts were a part of me, and even more time to accept that they don’t define me (I still struggle with that one). So they’re not “the girls”, to me. They’re my boobs.

I made a list of some common slang names for “breasts”, and I gotta say, there aren’t many I like:

Breasts
Boobs
Boobies
Bosom
Tits
Titties (are you a ten-year-old boy? No? Then don’t say “titties”, come on.)
Knockers
Nips
Globes
ChaChas
Biscuits
Set
Dugs (ughh, ick)
Honkers
Tatas
Bust
Melons
Bangers
Bazongas
Cans
The Girls
Stack
Rack
Chesticles (absolutely not. No. I refuse.)
Jugs (ewww, no, bleah)
Hooters
Mammaries
Pips
Bazookas
Bazooms
Gagas
Muffins

It’s interesting looking at the full list. Lots of food parallels, as well as, weirdly, machinery and mechanical allusions. Mostly, for me, this list is a list of words that majorly, seriously rub me the wrong way. God, if someone asked me about my “cans”, I swear I would punch them in the face.

Seeing how strongly I feel about most other-words-for-breasts, I wanted to open it up to you: what nicknames would make you feel uncomfortable during a bra fitting? How do you feel about the word “boobs”? Does it bother you when I say it on Sweet Nothings, and is there a word or phrase you’d prefer I use? Let me know!

Sweet Nothing Du Jour: 4/5/13 with Angela Friedman

Posted on April 5, 2013 by Sweets

I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Drama and English Literature of the Middle Ages/Renaissance, with a minor in French. Yeah. At 22, I was not what we would call “a totally useful person,” but I could throw a mean fake punch. I still marvel that I was hired at my current job in the first place. While I was not particularly good (yet) at being a professional assistant, I was very, very good at wearing big dresses. And swishing them.

In a confession that will astonish no one, I have a rich fantasty life. Much of it unevolved since I was a child. I mean, some of it has . . . matured, but a lot of my “it’s time to go to sleep– Sleep! Go to sleep! Now!” brain meanderings involve A) imprecisely “old-timey” settings and B) VERY precise renderings of EXACTLY the kind of garments I’d wear in my dramatic other lives. Big dresses, long gloves, and of course amazing, amazing corsets. I also spend time trying to figure out how I could bring my 21st century shower and curling iron with me.

You know, when I started the blog, I thought I was so clever starting the Sweet Nothing Du Jour series, because then I could just highlight the little things, which is fine when it’s my cats, but when it’s something totally jaw-dropping I sort of feel like a doofus. Speaking of jaw-dropping:

Clair de Lune Corset by Angela Friedman

I’ve mentioned her before, but in case you aren’t familiar with her amazing, crazy mad talent, Angela Friedman is a New York-based independent luxury lingerie and corset designer. These are not the “corsets” you’d buy for Halloween at Frederick’s of Hollywood or Ricky’s. These are the real deal: the ones you wear with the big dresses that go swish. The ones that are steel boned, impeccably crafted, gorgeously styled. The ones you wear with ruffly knickers and suspenders and stockings and big hair.

Like so.

I got to meet her during CurveNY/LingerieFW, and we bonded over a shared fascination with our cats, lingerie, and ballet. Last week I won one of her Instagram contests and went to visit her at her atelier to pick up my lovely new garter. I think she has in mind I will save it for a future wedding; I’m already planning a sweet yet sassy pole dancing outfit. To each her own

Thank you Angela!

If you are a performer, or you have a magnificent gown, or you just want a truly special lingerie ensemble, check out Angela’s Etsy shop. She offers ready-to-wear, semi-custom, and fully bespoke corsets and lingerie. I’ve seen some of her bespoke corsets for fuller-busted women, and they’re absolutely stunning. If corsets aren’t your style, her line of chemises, knickers, bralettes, robes, and other luxurious silk and lace lingerie pieces are ready for a lady of any era (be sure to go to her Instagram feed for sneak peeks of upcoming pieces). It doesn’t hurt that she’s lovely and kind as well.

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