Sweet Talking: Seraphine

How much am I loving myself for this post title?  A WHOLE LOT.

This is the first in what I hope will be many Interviews with Awesome Ladies.  Let’s kick things off with the lovely Seraphine Naeymi.  Seraphine is my pole dancing instructor at S Factor NY.  I started classes at S Factor almost exactly a year ago (August 4, 2011), so it’s especially nice to be able to share her with you now.  Behold:

I know, right?

I get to hang out with her every week while she teaches me how to haul my entire body weight upside and over my head using only my spaghetti arms.  She’s a remarkable lady: kind, encouraging, funny, positive, and strong as hell.

Hi Seraphine!  Tell us about yourself.

Hi, I’m Seraphine, and I’m an instructor at S Factor.  I’ve been a teacher for about six years now; before that I worked in real estate in California. Continue reading

Recommended Reading: How To Be a Woman, by Caitlin Moran

I have a new best friend, a new girl crush, a new hero.  You must, you must, you must, you MUST read this book.  I don’t care if you’re a dude or a lady.

I am deeply gratified that I found out about this book when it got furiously “shared” on Facebook by some of my closest friends.  Carry on, Awesome Ladies.

Up until college, I emphatically and uncaringly said I was a feminist.  I was down with women’s rights and the vote, ergo: Feminist.  Done.  Simple.  And then one day in the cafe outside the university’s theater, while we were all blearily caffeinating ourselves, I said something scathing about a new women’s group on campus that was for-traditional-values-anti-women’s-liberation or something and had written a soul-crushingly stupid and self-righteously-irritating editorial in the college newspaper about A Woman’s Place Being in the Home, and the talented, intelligent, funny, and lovely woman waiting for her caffeine drip with me quietly and firmly said “I don’t consider myself a feminist.”

I literally gaped at her, stunned into silence.  I had assumed anyone in this day and age who claimed to be anti-feminist was just a wing-nut, ignorant and backwards and embarrassing.  All women, surely, were feminists; how could they not be?  Equal rights and opportunities for all of humanity: that’s what feminism was about, right?  So when I heard this talented, intelligent, funny, and lovely woman say with a hint of pride that she wasn’t a feminist, I shut up and started looking around and listening. Continue reading

Compliments, and also Recommended Reading: Be Less Crazy About Your Body by Megan Dietz

Lady Mary recently recommended (in response to Fighting) a short book called Be Less Crazy About Your Body. It’s by a hilarious writer named Megan Dietz, and the Kindle version is only $2.99, and Kindle books cost pretend money anyway (wheeeee credit card bill!), so I bought that sucker right up. I love pretty much everything about it. It took me fewer than two commutes to finish, and I was nodding in recognition the whole time. She has lots of stories, wisecracks, examples, and helpful tips for, as the title says, being less crazy about our bodies. Because y’all? We’re kind of crazy about our bodies.

I’m not talking about body-focused people like athletes who are training or conditioning, or unhealthy eaters (sigh, hello, my name is Sweets, and sometimes I eat dessert for breakfast) who decide to make healthier eating choices. I’m talking about when we accept the crazy thoughts our brains churn out as absolute and unyielding truths, and then lock those crazy thoughts into a pattern of permanence.

Like, here’s an example. For some reason it’s socially acceptable, nay, expected, for women to talk shit about their bodies. Now, if we’re Ladies, we know not to shit-talk other women’s bodies (if you can’t say something nice, etc., which logically we should apply to ourselves, but we never do). So we decide the only alternative is to talk shit about our own bodies. It becomes a security blanket, a crutch, a social lubricant as appealing as any alcoholic beverage. Meeting new ladies in a group? Want to tell one of them you like her dress/hair/shoes? Be sure to add “I wish I had your/I hate my” so everyone is reassured that you don’t actually feel good about yourself. Then the other party is free to respond “What, are you kidding me? I need to lose 1000 pounds and my hair is gross.” As Megan says, “Girls, girls, don’t fight, you’re both revolting.” Continue reading

Ezmeralda’s Birthday Cake

Ezmeralda is the nom-de-plume of the best neighbor Roommate and I ever had. She was SO EXCITED when Roommate adopted her dog, Lily, last year, possibly more excited than we were. We were in the process of installing a baby-gate in the front hall to limit Lily’s access to my door-less bedroom, and Lily was behaving SO WELL, and then there was a knock on the door. Roommate stepped over the baby-gate and opened the door, and there was Ezmeralda with her miniature pinscher, Pablo. Lily took one look at Pablo, backed up, and sailed effortlessly over the baby-gate to be with him. They are true loves, and they still LOSE THEIR MINDS when they reunite.

Ezmeralda has taken me in when I’ve been sick. She’s opened her house to us for parties and brunches and SVU marathons and True Blood viewings. She’s watched Ruby and Gus when I’ve been out-of-town, even though she’s hugely allergic to them. She gave me my air conditioner. She went stripper-boot shopping with me in the West Village with great enthusiasm. She remembers everyone’s birthdays, loves dogs and children and her friends without reservation, and never fails to make me crack up if I’m having a bad day. Even though I’m a week late, we’re going to watch True Blood and have birthday cake tonight. Happy (belated) Birthday, Ezmeralda, and thanks for being a friend!

Ezmeralda’s Almond-Raspberry Birthday Cake
adapted, barely, from SmittenKitchen

For cake:

4 1/2 c. cake flour
4 1/2 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
2/3 c. prepared almond paste (1 tube, 7 oz.)
2 2/3 c. sugar
2 1/2 sticks (10 oz., 1 1/4 c.) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 tbsp. almond extract
10 egg whites
1 1/2 c. whole milk

Continue reading

Sweet Nothing Du Jour: 6/25/12

This will appeal to about three of my readers. You know who you are.

Someone at the Royal Ballet is awesome at social media. Earlier this year they did a live broadcast of the entirety of one of their company classes. Did I stay up until 2:00 a.m. watching the whole thing? Yes. Of course I did. Check out the principal dancer who’s pregnant and still taking company class. Ladies: They’re Awesome.

I am in love with the teacher, FYI.  She’s so cool.  I’m also in love with several of the male dancers, albeit in a different way.

Recommended Reading: Busted! By Ali Cudby

If I had to choose a gift for a teenage girl (or her mom), I’d be that awkward friend who gave her this book. Y’all, it’s so great.  It really is.  It’s short, sweet, matter-of-fact, and astoundingly comprehensive on the subject of boobs and bras. Ali Cudby is the founder and CEO of FabFoundations™, a bra-fitting service that seeks to empower every woman to understand, love, and fit her breasts, no matter her age or size. There are some heartbreaking personal anecdotes sprinkled throughout (a mother whose teenage daughter had just been fitted into a 32G bra wrote to Ali: “Should I get her a breast reduction?” Ali’s response was much less ragey than mine would have been) and straightforward, easy-to-understand advice. Ali talks about her personal experience growing up with ill-fitting bras, and the life-changing joy she felt when (like me!) she discovered Bravissimo. She went on to develop and market a fitting technique called the FabFit™ Formula that spells out all of the points a woman should check to ensure her bra fits her well.

20120624-134358.jpg

Taken at the office with my mad photography skillz. On a Sunday. Which I am not melodramatically grumpy about or anything. Sweets: Totally Not Blogging At Work.

Continue reading